I had written a long post about my struggle with weight. This one focuses on the problems I faced on a day to day basis because of being overweight.
- I hated it when people tell me, “No, you are not fat. You are just Healthy”. Wow, as if I did not get the hint. I can understand that they tried to be polite. But somehow I did not want to be told that I am “Healthy”
- Mundane tasks like bending down and picking up a few things, walking for long distances, running a few blocks, climbing a flight of stairs etc seemed to get difficult by the day. It was all doable, but not with the same ease as before.
- It was taking a toll on my health too. When I injured my lower back, my doctor asked me sheepishly if I ever played any outdoor games as there were no traces of muscles in my back! My thyroid also started malfunctioning in trying to keep up with my extra weight.
- My dad usually does not beat about the bush. So he was critical about my bad food habits and zero exercise. Even though that was plain truth, I did not like to hear it. I hated to indulge on food (the bad ones) in front of him because it would definitely prompt him to make a comment that I did not want to hear.
- I was self conscious all the time. I was worried if my tummy is showing or if my clothes have become tight. I knew that I was fat now, but I never wanted anyone to call me that. So I wore loose fitting clothes to hide my bulges!
- Shopping for western outfits was a nightmare in India. Usually, I do not wear western outfits. When I had to buy formal attires, T-shirts etc for my US trip, I was nearly in tears. No store would stock my size (please, I was not obese) and it used take tremendous effort and will power to visit every store and try so many clothes only to find that they do not fit you. I was very depressed.
- This was true even when buying ready-made garments. Quite often, the salespersons told me that I needed to check out bigger size. Probably they were right and were telling it for my own good, but I hated to hear that. It would bring me to tears (I was/am a very sensitive person. The smallest of things would make me cry). Shopping was not a joy anymore.
- I hated to look at my photographs as it constantly reminded me of my weight problem. I love to check out other people’s photographs, but would never be happy to look at mine.
To be true, at the end of the day, all this self pity did not help me in tackling the underlying problem. I eventually got to a point when I realized that. It was at that time I took the first step to overcome the problem. More on that in the next post.